The Thoughts and Feels of 2015

29 more days till 2016. I can’t help but be one of those nostalgic saps reminiscing on the good times in life but 2015 has to be one of the best years of my life (or at least in the top five). This post is kind of a reflection on some of the important things 2015 has taught me and a reason to spew my life thoughts on to the Internet so enjoy if that’s your type of blog post:

First off this year has taught me that those big goals on my list, won’t be checked off without dedication and hardwork. I mean it sounds simple and the idea is something I’ve known for awhile but I got to go to London over the summer and accomplish one of the biggest goals I’ve had since childhood. That goal wasn’t as easy to accomplish as I thought it would be when I was 12 with many roadblocks and doubts that the trip wasn’t feasible (my bank account is slowly recovering) but I pushed through all that and had an experience that I’m still not over. It took four months to not think about the trip every day but studying abroad came at the perfect time.

I needed that trip to show me that my most ambitious goals are possible if I’m willing to work for them. This year I turned 21 and that has been a blessing and a curse (again, bank account still recovering). It’s funny when adults give those generic “don’t grow up to fast” or “embrace your youth” talks because that was all I was doing before I turned 21. Stepping even further into adulthood is exciting, terrifying and I keep thinking that one year everything will click, I’ll know why the world spins and I’ll have my shit together. But this year I got an even closer look at people needing to find themselves at all ages. Those insecurities and fears don’t magically go away when you get old but they become easier to handle with time.

As sit in my chair at work, I think about the upcoming semester which will be my last couple of months in college. Saying that time flies is easily the biggest understatement anyone can utter. It’s difficult to remember how I was feeling this time last year or three years back when I was a freshman contemplating my future (things obviously haven’t changed much). My goals for the future seem massive, almost unattainable if I wasn’t so optimistic.

I could keep writing about my thoughts related to 2015 for a couple pages but I’ll control myself and write one more long ass paragraph (bare with me, or don’t there’s probably a thrilling Buzzfeed list that you need give some attention to…).

I have never felt more conflicted on my success in the future. I mean it sounds simple: go to college, declare a major with job security, graduate, start career, get married, kids, blah etc. The problem is I came into college with that mentality. Declared a computer information systems major thinking I’d make bank as a computer coder, get a job and let life play out naturally. But I hated it, dropped the major and followed what got me excited for life. I lost the desire to base all my decisions on pleasing everyone around me and rekindled a passion for writing and entertaining people. I found a career path in radio that I never thought of following and while it doesn’t have that CIS paycheck I dreamed of and seems slightly impossible to be in, I’ve never felt more sure of what I want to do in life. I can imagine myself living in a big city, having a slot in Z100 while working at Fader (both dream jobs right now haha) but I needed this year to show me that I could truly reach that level in time. I could leave the small city I grew up in, only to want to continue to evolve to bigger places because spending my life in the same place for 100 years doesn’t sound like living.

While I’m very excited to be done with school in a couple months, I’m nervous about following my non-traditional path. So many changes stemmed from this year and I can’t wait to see where next year takes me. It’s been slightly challenging trying to consistently post above average content that might warrant some views in Germany but as always I will keep the posts coming and hopefully you find some good music along the way. Thank you for taking the time to read about one of my biggest interests in life and this long post because it had to be a commitment. I guess to wrap things up expect more music and life posts in 2016. Until then I guess I’ll pretend to look busy and hope that ANTI drops before I die.

Marcel J.

What have been the highlights / life lessons of 2015 for you? Let me know in the comments!

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